Silence, Motion, and Newton’s First Law

It has been more than 24 hours without notifications. No pings. No messages. No one needing anything from me.and nor I need anything form anyone. The phone stayed quiet, and surprisingly, so did my mind(not exactly).

Usually when this happens, I feel uneasy. I start to feel like I am not alive(last time this happened I jumped into the pool, and the left shoulder muscle strain still reminds me the value of feeling alive 😭).

-> :)) As if something should be happening. Someone should be calling. A message should arrive. Some sign from the outside world should confirm that I exist, that I matter, that I am connected.

Silence often feels like invisibility.

But the last two days were different. I was busy. I was doing something meaningful. I was focused. I did not sit waiting for something to happen because I was already in motion. And because I was in motion, the silence did not hurt. The outside world doesnt know and thats not at all needed.

Today is Sunday, and yesterday was Saturday. I am okay with the silence now. It feels calm instead of empty. It feels like space instead of rejection. When nothing is pulling me outward, I can actually hear myself.

But from tomorrow onward, office starts again. There will be TEAMSS calls. Meetings. Notifications and unwanted and un-rewarded(🥲🥲) emergency for which I work like 'A child of monsoons, serving the cloud'(dont search in dictionary, meaning is slave). The constant digital tapping on my shoulder. It feels like Newton’s first law. An object in motion stays in motion, and an object at rest stays at rest unless acted upon by an external force. Right now I am in a state of calm rest. I do not want the external force of Teams calls to disturb this internal stillness.

I want to carry this momentum of quiet focus into the week.

At the same time, something exciting is happening. Something I worked on will soon be released on the Play Store. That is real motion. That is something I am building and putting into the world. That kind of notification feels different. It is not random noise. It is the result of effort, intention, and creation. Few months back, to be exact 11 monnths back, I told myself and next time bu this time it will happen, Its happening

Maybe that is the difference.

Notifications that pull me into other people’s urgency make me feel scattered. But work that I choose, things I build, projects I move forward, make me feel alive. When I am creating, I do not need constant proof from outside. I already feel my own existence.

Maybe being alive is not about something happening to me. Maybe it is about me happening to the world. (AHHHH Quotable)

This weekend showed me that silence is not the enemy. Emptiness is not the enemy. The real difference is whether I am in motion with purpose.

If I can protect even a small part of this stillness when Monday arrives, then the external forces will not completely disturb me.

Maybe I just need to remember that I can choose my motion.